A bit about what’s going on and what made Desteria even happen. It’s a bit lengthy of an explanation but I hope it helps understanding some of the mind behind the madness.

Well, it’s been awhile since my last blog post as I have been just completely down as of late. Between allergies, the extremely lethargic weather (we have sun again, yay), the goings on with government, constant posts about said issues and frequent training meetings at work I have had little time or, quite frankly wherewithal, to write. I do what I can in activism and keeping up to date on the goings on of the government at a local, national and global scale so I can stay informed. I do what I can in the tiny town I live in to limit the influence or harm done but lately I have been completely overwhelmed.

I started Desteria in the summer of 2010 when I had been fired from a job I had held for eight years due to mismanagement, I was one of twelve that month that got fired for the same “reason”. Between the Unemployment (I was found at no fault thanks to the manager ignoring company policy) and the off and on of the state and federal government having a tug of war over the policies each side wanted to pass I was angry. Still am really but it was much more muted until recently. I started really paying attention to activism and writing about how I felt by creating this dystopian universe.

I could easily see how. I could happen with the climate at the time and even now. It was my way to address the lack of care a government body and corporations had towards people in general. More so those who don’t fit the mold of subservience that seems to be more and more in demand lately. I just started writing in a form of word-vomit (pretty sure the polite term is world building) and just tried getting my emotions onto paper. The numbness that allows for complacency, the anger that is settled underneath just waiting for the right outlet, the hope that if you work/pray/love hard enough the world will be better and the what if of a world that wasn’t touched by the harshness of the world.

Desteria was born from my frustration, depression and hope for the world and what I remember growing up believing in prior to the economic fall. I had grown up to an extent with the understanding that there are possibilities if one looked. After the economic turn and 9/11 I became despondent and felt, like many, unmoored. I had no idea what this world would come to and started being even more pessimistic and cynical about what the future would become.

I still have hope. It’s small but there. I keep wanting to see the Star Trek style utopia and less of the current dystopia we are in. I can’t help but, even with all my sarcastic cynicism, that one day I may see the beginnings if not the whole. It’s probably the reason my main character is called Cyn. She represents the anger, cynicism and need to make due with what she can. Lairia, her partner, is the hope and spiritual side of myself that helps keep my cynicism in check. Without either I don’t think I could pull this off as well. They are as much me as they are their own characters. Neither could really exist happily without the other. Before you, my dear reader, think there is a romance; there isn’t. I actually have no romantic interests in this story.

Now to the reason that is, it’s because so many stories with strong female characters don’t go without a romantic interest throughout the storyline. Now Cyn did have a fiancĂ© and a tragic back story to explain how she ended up where she is but that I am trying not to use so much as a trope as a underline of the discrimination that this society has. While talking to my best friend who I’ve known forever, we were discussing the societal background and fleshing out things that I had added since the last time I had written. It was then that I came to a realization that the story, while Urban Dystopian Fantasy, was dealing with discrimination against a certain classification of people. It was eye opening to me as I was not purposefully setting out to do it.

One thing I have to say about writing is that you really can find yourself while doing it. She just laughed when it dawned on me. Apparently she had drawn parallels to the discrimination as a disabled person she has had to deal with all her life and I amused her that the thoughts and feelings she had shared about it found their way into the story. I had started putting myself in her shoes as much as possible when it would come to if she can do something as seemingly simple as picking up a box. I would limit myself to her range of motion automatically to see if it was easy, if not I would warn her of the difficulty and offer her help if she found it too much. Works great when having to move things around.

In dealing daily with someone’s perspective it can really open your eyes to the world more. I knew what the struggles for myself were with enacted polices and she provided the additional viewpoint of what it would mean for someone with a disability. This perspective has helped with my story, whether I realized it or not, and has helped me with my activism. Now I just need to not get overwhelmed with the activism and finish this first book. She’l be writing the second and we both will be collaborating on the third. At least that’s the plan.

Keep on keeping on and don’t forget to write when you can. Even if it is on a receipt or napkin just don’t do what I do and throw the sucker away on accident.


Another week, more slogging through the brain.

Ah the human brain. What a wonderful, mysterious organ that controls the entire body. It’s function is basically what medically defines whether it not a person is alive. Injure it and it can mess with memory, emotional responses, motor skills and thought processes. It also houses creativity and logic.

Now if only the damn thing would start working more and stop hitting the Depression and Anxiety button I would be great and my writing would be finished! Chapter 7 is struggling out the brain like a toddler that’s refusing to leave the house on time for an appointment. Kicking, screaming, and occasionally giving that false sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, we’ll make it on time. That is until I almost get to the door and the tantrum starts.

The writing process is full of ups and downs as I have stated before. Procrastination being the biggest part. Half the time I start wondering if me starting up this blog is part of it but I think it’s more scrolling through Pinterest pinning to my Writer’s Blockade board is more so that and Facebook is a great procrastination tactic. I am so guilty for that. I keep searching for inspiration while my brain hits the panic button and has me do a million things other than what I set out to do initially.

Oh well, the joys of writing. Hopefully I will be able to finish Chapter 7 this week and stat on 8. That’s the goal and I hope to reach it.

Oh and for those who are curious I am posting my board to aid anyone who may need the help. Hopefully it works. Comment if it doesn’t.

Writer’s Blockade


I have gotten a bit more written yesterday before work. It’s not a lot but it is the start of chapter 7. If you are wondering, my dearest readers, I do not actually have a plan on how many chapters there will be as I struggle with the concept to have a pace that is interesting without being too fast or too slow. I know I have an issue where the writers haven’t found that happy medium between the BAM, BAM, BAM plot lines where by the end of the book your sitting there going “Ok. That happened. What the hell just happened?”

Then you have the ones whose write at pace that makes it feel that watching a a race between snails would be more exciting. I also need to find a way to not have too much information thrown at the reader but not have so little it reads like a children’s book or have points where I might as well write “and stuff happens” before moving on. There has to be a balance in there. Where, I haven’t the foggiest. Journeys suck to write when you know the ending and the highlights.

So as I work on character development during the next few chapters I will be struggling with that balance until I get to the point where. I can work on the next plot point.

See you all next time.

Ever changing, ever moving forward!

Well I have since changed jobs at least twice since 2014. I finally graduated last year and started my newest job out of retail and in manufacturing so I have less bizarre hours and better pay which allows me to write more. I have started on a new story in hopes that maybe it can jump start the writer’s block on Desteria. Unfortunately I hit the same wall as in Desteria. Both require a journey but I am stuck on the part where

Desteria has me at a block at the moment and I may need to reconfigure a few things. The life of a writer is always in flux. So now I have multicolored notecards to write down plot points, character points, the different levels descriptors and so forth. If I can get a planning board I may actually get this chapter finish! I swear when you get stuck and are trying to write it becomes painful. I’ve had tooth extraction less painful.

One warning for any who are starting out this is something every writer goes through. Some days you have to be pulled away from you writing and others you stare at a blank page with your brain going “I can do words?” Currently stuck on that last one.

The new one is an idea that had been jumping around in my head taking up much needed space for Desteria that’s my own take on a zombified/cursed Wonderland based on The Queen of Hearts being the good guy. This basically starts out after the defeat and the fall out of it.

Hopefully I can get a little more done by way of chapters but I never have been very good with fillers. I have a Dystopian/Utopian collection book to help jog ideas on filing up between key points that I now am having time to actually read. Wish me luck and I wish you yours on your own journeys!

Change is Good

Well I moved, got a new job that’s full time, had and broke up with a boyfriend and am nearing the end of my schooling.

Desteria’s progress has been slow but I hope to get in a few more chapters in with possibly some short stories to get my creative juices flowing! Wish me luck.

Work, School and Writing

Where do I even begin? I started my new part time on August 6 for training and have been working at least 16-20 hours per week and started school on the 26th of August. Trying to find that balance is very hard when one or the other interrupt the process. I have been working hard to get my school work done while maintaining hours at work so I have enough for rent and possibly some food.

I will be working probably towards Winter Break and during the summer months while attempting to sell hand made crafts on Etsy in hopes of some extra cash for school. I will update on Desteria as soon as I have more written. A lot of rewriting has happened to clean up the plot.

Desteria Update 2

Chapter 4 is finished and I’m working on Chapter 5. Luckily when my last Kindle died I had saved the last updated to my external unfortunately my resume wasn’t one of them. Not sure how much writing will get done between my new job and school at the end of the month.

Desteria To Begin Again

I beg for forgiveness for the extremely late update. I had no working Internet, computer, phone or Kindle. I couldn’t get the money for a new one for awhile but now that it’s here I can work on it more.

Hopefully I can get out of this writing rut by rereading it and going from there. I finally figured out how to make a the scene work finally. Now just to get it down. Well, if my crappy Internet will let me. I’m saving it on Cloud.

New Year

I over taxed myself on the idea on finishing the rough draft before now. I had to move due to a mortgage company not doing their part and ousting both my roommate and I out of her house at the end of September of last year. Most of my time will be split between that and chores around the temporary apartment. Most of my things were thrown out by said company. Also today I found out our store is definitely closing and I need to find a new job.

So now with the new kindle I got for Christmas the writing has been going faster, but with this new hiccup I’m not sure how well it will go. I split chapter four into two chapters and am adding onto both. Now I’m having a hard time with that rewrite and I’m still not happy with what I’ve got nor can I seem to get input on how to make it work. This is one thing I hate about the first writings. I can’t get Cyn’s voice to flow without something like losing the house or my job happening. Something always happens to take me away from writing.

I hope that I can get this together. I don’t want to spend my entire life writing a single book that should be part of a series. My cowriter is useless with any help. She wants the bible for the world and I don’t have one. I can’t write like that. Oh well hopefully I can get past this writer’s block. It’s giving me migraines.

Desteria Trials

Working on the map of the Lower Level of Desteria and realized I’m too organized to create the drunken ghetto mess that will be the streets.

I’ve got Mid Level streets figured out and just have to figure out where buildings are in both. It’s a bit daunting but at least I have help.

We figured out all the nooks and crannys now of the Lower Level business district, the hospitals, Fire and Rescue, chapel, social classes, military, food processing plant, water treatment center, furnaces and the main roads. Now we’ve got to figure out residential area.

Now rereading my outline notes I realized that in Cyn’s impatience I have overly analyzed myself into absolute cynicism and lost the almost fantasy element of the plot line. Damn characters!

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